Industry Tosh #1 - Rebecca Black - Friday

Since it's Friday, I felt there was only one song (in the loosest sense of the word) that I could use for the first daily instalment of FTM. Anybody who uses Twitter and / or Facebook can't have failed to hear about a young girl by the name of Rebecca Black, and her song "Friday."

In fact, It has become so infamous that it has prompted parody videos such as this amusing attempt (which ironically is better than the original, though that doesn't say much):

Now I know that Rebecca is only 13, and this post is not going to blame her for this abomination. Rather it is the industry and the way the media swarm around vulnerable young girls like her.

Produced by a company called Ark Music Factory, Rebecca's parents apparently paid $2000 to allow their daughter to live her dream by recording a song and starring in an accompanying video. That's right - they willingly paid two grand to have this trash produced. I'd rather give my money for an assisted suicide.

Originally posted on Youtube, Friday quickly became a viral hit, spreading all over the internet and attracting huge media attention. Social networking sites went into overdrive and as a result, Rebecca Black has found herself in official music charts around the world and on iTunes.

The song is ostensibly about a teenager's perspective on life and how he or she would enjoy a typical weekend. However, the lyrics were penned by an adult, namely Patrice Wilson of Ark Music Factory. Mr Wilson clearly had a poor education if the limit of his creativity led him to write, "Yesterday was Thursday Thursday, today it is Friday Friday...Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards." It almost sounds like a terrible spin-off of Sesame Street.

Other big themes Friday tackles include eating a bowl of cereal and the tortuous decision over which car seat to sit in. Even

And if that wasn't bad enough, we are tortured yet further by a totally unnecessary, egotistical section in which another Ark Music Factory idiot plays up to every major stereotype of African-Americans by spewing out an incomprehensible rap, whilst dressed like a gang-banger and driving an ostentatiously-flash sports car.

So within a matter of seconds, we move from a 13-year-old girl's car seat-induced anguish to a gangster who looks like he's out to perform a drive-by shooting on some poor "homie." So Ark Music Factory not only charge $2000 to produce a song that sounds like it was written by a feotus, but they also insist on polishing their precious egos by hijacking the resulting project.

With many calling it the worst song ever written, poor Rebecca has been opened up to some despicable abuse from people who don't even know her. The industry that took her parents' money in order to make a fast buck amidst a media storm have allowed their young "starlet" to endure the most awful and hurtful comments because their skills at song-writing and video production are so abysmally bad.

This is not music, not even close. There is zero talent on display here. Even a drunken SingStar party filmed on someone's phone could easily outmatch this corporate drivel. If anybody truly cares about music anymore, they will steer well clear of this diabetes-inducing garbage.